Wednesday, April 21, 2010

An interesting question was just put to me by a friend.....

Is dating in Las Vegas impossible?

The first reason I am answering this question is for self humor purposes.... I am relationship inept for the most part..... Not do to being an asshole, or a cheater, or a dirtbag, or whatever.... But it usually comes down to the fact that I am too nice.... I am that guy who will tell you that you look amazing even if you don't, will tell you its all going to be ok, even if I have no idea if it will be or not.....

I was once told by a friend that I am an "Emotional Tampon" and at first I wanted to deck the bastard.... but I thought about it for a minute and chuckled to myself and said "Your Right." Basically for quite a long time I have a collective of girls who would call me 2-3 days a month when something was going in their life..... fights with family, boyfriend, fuck buddy, work, period, ailing pets... and I would shore up their resolve and set their minds at ease and I wouldn't hear from them again until the next crisis..... So over time I shook those people loose like a bad case of fleas.... do they still come back from time to time to get another belly full of blood.... sure..... but over time I have secretly substituted a hamburger patty for them to feed off of.... let's see if they notice....

So back to the original question: Is dating in Las Vegas impossible?

It is just annoying for the most part.... people walk around so fake for so long they have no idea who they are or what they want mainly because they were forced to assimilate into the Juicy Couture and Ed Hardy masses to achieve some sort of acceptance they think they need, or crave for some reason..... People here are so lost in their self important bullshit its hilarious.... girls in their car painting on their faces and readjusting their fake tits..... Guys straightening their Affliction T-Shirts and checking their spiked hair and making sure they have their sunglasses made by some designer from god knows where to complete their club going attire to make sure they are fore runners in the "So you wanna be a douche bag" contest.... and they walk into the clubs and these women throw themselves at them cause they are sooooooo cute......

And when the girl hits the clinic a month later wondering why it burns when she pees, and doesn't understand how it could have happened after going to bed with a Tommy Hilfiger clap trap....... it makes my evil side giggle......

I guess to answer the question accurately..... Dating in Vegas is hard - not impossible..... mainly cause for the most part you have no idea who you are talking to 99% of the time in the first 3-4 conversations cause you have to cut through the jungle of distractions the person has set in front of them selves so no one can know who they truly are...... And if you ever meet a girl or a boy who doesn't feel the need to hide, because they see themselves as an amazing person and they know it.... and they dig you..... run, do not walk to the nearest house of worship and marry them now.....

and if they dont want to run with you..... bonk them over the head cave man style and drag them to the nearest house of worship and hire a ventriloquist to say her lines.....

till next time.....

2 comments:

  1. I won't disagree with you. Many many people in Vegas are extremely fake, self serving and lacking in common courtesy. Though I'm sure people run into similar problems all over. We are just dealing with it here.;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was funny!

    Vegas sounds like a great place for people-watching.

    I'm enjoying your blog.

    ReplyDelete