Sunday, June 13, 2010

Somedays you just have to laugh cause it beats the alternative.....

It has been a hectic week..... Work has had me from about 11am to 10pm most days - varying the times but nothing too drastic..... lots of hours, not overly busy.... so entirely too much time to sit back and ponder things.....

I have decided this week that I am going to talk to a doctor about medically assisted weight loss..... not the lap band or anything invasive - its a naturally produced hormone called HcG..... it is basically supposed to just send the bodys nature fat loss cycle into hyper drive and I it will give me the swift kick in the ass I need to get myself healthier.... I haven't weighed less than 300 pounds since Sept. 2001 - and this diet I have already had a friend on and she went from a sexy curvy woman..... she had an amazing face and a million dollar smile to this slimmed down sexy kitten...... she slimmed out so much that I almost don't recognize her as the same person.... it is amazing - but its a strict diet in unison with the hormones - but she has done it amazingly well :) I would venture to guess she has lost 60-70 pounds - and I am happier for her than anyone, she has been my person that I turn to when I have a shitty day or when I need advice on where to turn next for the last 2 years - and on top of it - I think I might have pushed her away with my negative outlook I have on life..... and it bothers me.... I have been trying to be a better person..... Mentally, Emotionally, and Physically - And its a slow process, but it has been a battle to stop my mind from taking the dark alleys and to settle for well lit pathways instead...... but I guess it is one day at a time, 1 hour at a time, 1 thought at a time..... but sooner or later I will get to where I want to be.... its just 1 thing at a time....... my goal now - lose the weight - how much - I want to lose nearly 100 pounds.... it will put me at about 265-275.... then I can safely hit the gym, and get buff and stuff with my afro puff...... what no lady of rage references this morning? After that it will be time to throw out clothes that don't fit..... then it will be time to be fashion inclined...... and then god knows what else..... maybe a new tv, a ps3, a mountain bike, a new cock ring..... something lol.....

But I gots to get my ass moving - work in less than 2 hours - so its time to shave my ass and wash my face..... or maybe that's the other way around......

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